And whatever Josh & Sari called each living creature, that was its name.

Choosing our kid-to-be’s first name has been an arduous journey. For one thing, we don’t know whether we’re having a boy or girl. But more importantly, we both feel the weight and responsibility of finding the right name. I don’t know if it’s from reading too much fantasy fiction or what, but the idea of naming something (or someone) — of bequeathing its one, “true” name — is a very powerful idea.

Simply put, we want to come up with a name that means something (to us, to the kid), sounds nice, and we can imagine saying over & over in every imaginable situation or circumstance. And of course won’t leave our kid open to endless schoolyard teasing. One nice thing in that regard is we’re not under any familial pressure to name our kid after some dead or distant relative.

When it comes to kids’ names, our greatest inspiration is a monicker of such beauty, wit, and rhythm that it can never be matched: that of our pal bertozzi‘s daughter, Sabina Edwina LeBonBon Bertozzi. I mean — c’mon!— you can’t compete with perfection!

Anyway, once we finally resolved our last-name issue, we got serious about our first name search. That only left us with about a month before the due date (which is this Sunday, by the way). Fortunately, I had a couple of firm criteria, which helped narrow the potential name pool:

1) The name should come from the Old Testament. Both of us being Jewish — in heritage if not practice — this seemed to make sense.
2) The name could also come from an artistic—or literary, mythic, filmic, musical, or dance-related—source.
3) Sari & I have done a lot of traveling. How about a geographical inspiration?

Er, maybe my criteria weren’t exactly “firm” (And they weren’t even a “couple.”) I just didn’t want to be too restrictive!

We started compiling by consulting a baby naming book, of which there are literally hundreds. Of all those we inherited or borrowed, we went with Daniel Avram Richman’s From Aaron to Zoe: 15,000 Great Baby Names. It’s well-organized, provides good concise origins and meanings, and is stocked with Old Testament/Hebrew names. And as I got immersed in the book, I amended rule #1 a bit to include all names from Antiquity, not just Old Testament ones; I found I really like those Greek and Latin names!

I also perused some of the baby-naming websites for suggestions, but nothing good every really came out of it. Baby Name Wizard, however, with its morphing popularity graphs, is a great way to waste an afternoon.

We kept a little notebook for jotting all the names down, as well as an extensive list of potential middle names (all of which had to be matched up with first names for proper sound and rhythm). Despite the daunting task of looking through every name in the book, we made a system and stuck to it. Whether it was making time after a meal, riding together on the subway, or sitting in the park, we managed to speed through a couple of letters of the alphabet per day, and actually powered through all 15,000 names with two weeks to spare.

From there we threw in names we’d always liked & remembered, and various wild and ridiculous inspirations. Weirdly enough, I’ve kept a list of baby names in my PDA for over ten years now — long before I ever seriously considered the idea of having a kid. That list went in there too.

When all was said & done, and after I’d consolidated and alphabetized all the names, we had nearly 100 girl names and almost 90 boy names to choose from!

Though time was running out, we were actually able to whittle down our unwieldy list fairly easily. The first thing we did was consult the Social Security Administration website of popular baby names. Any name which showed up in the top 50 for either gender was out. Who wants to be known as Chloe N.—as oppsed to Chloe G. and Chloe S.—for the rest of her school career? Sadly, this rule wiped Abigail (#5), Chloe (#18), Eva (#6), Kayla (#26), Lily (#33), Mia (#13), and Sophia (#9) from our list of girl names; and Caleb (#34), Dylan (#26), Elijah (#29), Gabriel (#28), Isaac (#48), Isaiah (#40), Jackson (#36), and Noah (#15) from our list of boy names.

This reduced the list considerably, The next step was simply going through the remaining names and comparing notes. Obviously, the only name we’d end up with was one we both agreed on. If one of us nixed a name, it was permanently crossed off. And some names just didn’t pass the sniff test. Sure, it was fun to imagine monickers like Prague, Bali, Thai, Java, Han, Arwen, Ringo, Corwin, Theseus, Bartleby, Oberon, Ishmael, and Kafka, but none of ’em stood up to real consideration. After all, we’re not celebrities! The real wacky names are reserved for them. (Though I gotta admit I love the names Apple, Shiloh, and Kal-el. Damn that Gwyneth! Darn that Angelina! Curses on that Nic Cage!)

Another factor was having to stay away from names of people we knew, or used to know, or even worse, names of our friends’ kids. That eliminated a lot of cool names! (For instance, years ago, when man_size and bertozzi — pre-Sabina, of course — were roommates, they used to joke about the name of their yet-to-be-born “love child.” So, even though that kid is still a figment, Thor El Shabazz is out.)

Finally, we got our lists down to a manageable 30 or so for each gender. The penultimate step was independently coming up with a list of our top ten names for each gender. Once we compared the lists, any names we had in common would make it into the final round. (I have to confess I wasn’t able to limit myself to ten names. My girl list had 14 names on it, while my boys numbered 12.)

Amazingly enough, after all that, we ended up with eight names in common for each gender! In little over a month, from that initial pool of 15,000+ names, we had narrowed our list of potential names to a handful. (And, by the way, none of the names from my PDA made the final cut…)

Where are we now? Well, we’ve got less than a week to go and are pretty darn close. I think we’re set on a boy’s name, and there are maybe three names in the mix for a little girl. Sari’s of the mindset to wait and see, feeling that once we lay eyes on the little one, her true name will make itself known. I’m willing to go that route — provided we do stick to one of the three possibilities. (Of course, our good pal wjcohen — father of Lila and Ruby — discourages us from that strategy. He says all newborns look like George Burns! And George is. Not. Under. Consideration.)

What’s that? You’re waiting for me to tell you which names are the final candidates?

No, sorry, you’ll just have to wait to find out like everyone else…

About joshcomix
Brooklyn-based cartoonist specializing in nonfiction comics about topics like Hurricane Katrina, the media, travel, and finance.

24 Responses to And whatever Josh & Sari called each living creature, that was its name.

  1. man_size says:

    I can’t wait to meet “Fun-size!”

  2. bikerbar says:

    We knew we had a boy esrly from the ultrasound, but if we had had a girl, we were looking at Sophia. Don’t mean to muddy your waters, but Chloe is a bit brand-sounding, y’know, like a perfume …🙂
    And on your boys list, my fave is Noah, nice solid and round. Built like a boat. Gabriel is good too, but he needs a golden trumpet.
    We named our son Dominik. I liked Vaclav or Vojtech, but my folks couldnt deal with Vojtech, so I bowed to pressure. My wife had a dream, and in the dream he was called Dominik, so OK, the dream god has spoken. Its not my favorite, but its who he is now. I think babies grow to inhabit their names, the first few months, no matter what you call them, the name is just a cipher in a sense. Names dont matter when you’re that small.

    • 4_eyez says:

      In other words, a variation on the George Burns theory. But seriously, that’s a good point. Other folks have told me that the baby grows into his name, and then you can’t imagine calling him anything else. (Except for my friend who changed her son’s name SIX MONTHS after he was born!)
      By the way, I think Dominik is an awesome name, especially for a half-Czech kid

  3. dlasky says:

    My votes
    If it’s a boy: Dino
    If it’s a girl: Hopey

    • 4_eyez says:

      Re: My votes
      I know where Hopey comes from, but Dino? Can’t be our shirtless cartoonist friend… You a big Rat Pack fan?
      My comix choices (not all as serious as others) were Kal-el, Linus, Lucy, Lulu, Lara, and Remi
      But Sari wasn’t having it.

      • dlasky says:

        Re: My votes
        Not even Remi? That’s a pretty good one.
        Of course I mean shirtless Dino. But kids would confuse it with the Flintstone’s pet dinosaur, so…

      • 4_eyez says:

        Re: My votes
        Yeah, of course, as soon as I posted my response, I realized it was the Flintstones’ “doggy”. Duh!

      • bikerbar says:

        Re: My votes
        Actually I think Linus is a great name
        Linus Wilson Neufeld .. hmm
        first babies often come a little late, but I know Sari is probably reacting to every little sensation expecting the big event
        thinking of you both

      • 4_eyez says:

        Re: My votes
        Thanks for backing me up with Linus. So cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!!!

      • 4_eyez says:

        Re: My votes
        Oh, and Inza! I think that’s the coolest girl name ever!
        But Sari said no…

      • 4_eyez says:

        Re: My votes
        And Olive! After Ms. Oyl.
        But, again, nein from Frau Wilson. Bah!

  4. You are so methodical you make me look spontaneous (and I say this with the greatest affection). This post reminds me of that story in the Vagabonds where you catalogged and ranked your favorite comics, or that LJ post a few years back where you showed your childhood sketches of every single major league baseball team’s home and away uniforms. You’re nothing if not thorough!
    (Though I admit, choosing a name that someone else has to live with for the rest of their life is a task deserving of a thorough approach…)
    Anyway, best wishes to you, Sari, and the as-yet-unnamed baby!

  5. T
    “So, even though that kid is still a figment, Thor El Shabazz is out.”😦

  6. man_size says:

    Thor El Shabazz was the fantasy monicker to our second child’s name. Bertozzi and I had a different name for our first-born:
    FABULON!

    • 4_eyez says:

      oh yeah… forgot about that one.
      gotta cross it off the list now, too. DAMN YOU!!!

      • dlasky says:

        Well then how about “The Beyonder”? Or simply “Beyonder Neufeld-Wilson”?

      • 4_eyez says:

        I HATE THE BEYONDER!!!!
        P.S. We’re going with “Wilson Neufeld” — no hyphen.
        You’re pulling my chain, aren’t you, you scamp!

      • dlasky says:

        Yes, I’m pulling your chain.
        But if you did use that name, you could pronounce it as if it were French or Spanish, with an emphasis on the last syllable.
        But the Beyonder is AWFUL. Yes. His appearance signified the end of my being interested in anything Marvel published. Still, he is kind of amusing. A super-powerful godlike entity who CHOSES to wear his hair in a mullet. I don’t even want to talk about the way he dresses himself.
        http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/b/beyonder.htm

      • 4_eyez says:

        Beyonder Mullet!!
        Yep, that just about sums it up! Your comment actually made me laugh aloud!
        I didn’t know who to blame more: Jim Shooter or whatever forgettable artist drew Secret Wars?

  7. sabina edwina lebon bon bertozzi is definately a winner!
    aw, this is all so exciting! (can you hear my clock ticking via this comment…?) i’ve long since stopped trying to name friends’ babies, though i still have my own list. i too was sad to see “abigail” having turned so popular.
    as you well know, much in the comix kingdom was created and influenced by jews and their lore – have you checked out the exhibit at the brooklyn museum on jewish influence in the comics world? (sounds very zog-like, but whaddya gonna do.) i’m not sure if its still showing. nicolas cage named his son jor-el, poor kid. i have a friend who had a dream about the name of her daughter, and with respect to the kid (and the friend), i won’t reveal it here; i’ll just say that sometimes, dreams are fucked up – again, poor kid.
    anyway, your criteria sounds great, and i’m sure you’ll know when you see him/her what the name should be, good luck!

    • 4_eyez says:

      Re: sabina edwina lebon bon bertozzi is definately a winner!
      Yeah, it was a bummer about Abigail. I like the name Abby a lot (tho’ Sari woulda nixed it anyway…)
      The Brooklyn Museum? Really? I live right across the street! I’ll definitely check it out. Thanks for the tip.

  8. oops – you got me, kal-el, not jor-el.
    i skipped that whole line in your post.
    *blush*

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